Ange and Mykel treated me to see Rihanna and Chris Brown's concert and it was a blast!

Migs is just sooooo cute, and sooooo lucky: cause he has me as his ninong (hehe) --- well, on second thought, not really. I'm not as active as a ninong should be and I'm not that into kids. I'm not really sure why Michel got me as Mig's ninong (hmmm, something to ponder about).

I thought that everything's well: that I've forgotten, or that if I haven't forgotten yet, that I will no longer feel pain. I was wrong... I was proven very wrong.

Though I've wished for this to happen, it came very unexpected. It came when I least thought it would and when it came, I was just shocked. My knees were trembling, my blood rushing, my mind was a bit disoriented. I was a mess and, upto now, I still feel like a big pile of emotional mess.

Now... it's all I can think of. And the pain I've tried so long and hard to put away has braced me back again and I don't know what to do.

It's wednesday, eve of the eve of the day before another weekend. It's a shorter week for us than the usual. But after this, the next time there will be another long weekend will be too long a wait.

Looking back on my past 2 weekends, I felt it was a waste. I had fun (I had a blast!), but I wasn't able to maximize and full utilize my lazy weekends. And knowing that the next long weekend is not until months away is such a bummer.

Right now, all that's consoling me is the tought that the ber-months are just a few days away. And ber-months means december is close, and december means christmas is near, and christmas means it's a few days away before the new year, and new year... well, let's just say, in my POV, the future now seems a little closer.

And speaking of the future, I still need to get things cleared up: my goals, where I want to be, what I want to do and how I'll do all of them. It's too bad we have to think of tomorrow and can never really-truly-fully live for the present. bum be-dum be-dum

The other night, I was out with friends. And I'd say that in many of our conversations, religion is definitely not out of topic.

So there we were, talking about religion and I realized that there's really nothing to debate or talk about. I'll say this and I know that people will agree that, when it comes to religion, no one ever wins. It always depends on how we view faith. Once a person is set on a particular set of beliefs, no one can ever veer him into their perspective of who god is or what is good.

I am not the religious type. I'm more like spiritual (and that's what I want to believe). I don't like going to church, following religious traditions or anything that screams out "religiousity." I still believe in God and I believe I'm still a believer of the Catholic religion. It's just that I want my experience with God to be more personal or more individualistic that I don't have to do those stuff that make me feel awkward.

But then, in this age where religion to many is an ornament, if not unessential, I feel that there is a greater need to show a little vocation, a commitment to faith. And, regardless of how you want to perceive death, higher beings, or holy interventions; people need to identify themselves to a community where they can share thoughts and clear out confusions.

And so, enough about religion. While this may be the last time I'll ever write about it, give me at least a year and maybe my views will change.

If there's one thing in my life as a working person I've learned, it's to exercise my love to hate.

Work has taught me that life is miserable and you get misery by hating people. And what better way to view this optimistically that to love hating people. That way, you still get to do what you love and skip on the misery part of hating.

FYI - Most of the people I hate are from work. I don't show it to them, of course. Unlike others, I still show respect even to people who aren't due of it. And with my nature as a "malait," people who know me will agree that hating is really part of my personality. I may be passive about it and tend to be more expressive with friends, but the emotions are pure and true.

The reason for all this fuss is because every little thing work related ticks me off. Non sense emails. Minor and major boo boos. Annoying co-workers. And all I do is bicker to my officemates about them. It's a good thing that my officemates don't complain (or at least, I think they don't), cause there is truth to all I say. And they can't help but hate them too. Hehehe (evil laugh).

But don't get me wrong. I'm not a bad ass shit who you won't want to work with. It's just that hating is what I do to make me feel "senseful." And most importantly, I learn from these experiences (just imagine my ego if I do the same things I complain about). It makes me extra cautious so that I don't get to be hated by people like me too.

...I've sweat like tonight was I-can't-recall-when. It was damn so long that I really can't remember.

The feeling of sweating, and maybe losing some of those nasty fats, has left me until tonight with a nice game of badminton with friends. I so love the feeling. It's like all those sweat were hiding in me and all the sweat kept flowing like a conservative girl going wild and crazy on spring break.

The night was fun until I realized: I may already be growing old. I've feared this lately and tonight made my fear more real. I realized that before, I could go up the hills of Fairview in a bike (and this is no simple feat) and play badminton for 2 or 3 hours and go back home, still in a bike. But now, 2 hours of play can really get me drained. There may be a lot of factors to it but it still feels good getting your bones and muscles the exercise they need and release all those feel-good (or not) sweat.

This post isn't really about my olympic dream. I just wanted to write about the olympics since it'll be starting in two days.

I'm feeling a bit wierd that I'm not that all hyped about this year's olympics. I mean, what is there not to rave about. China as the sponsor. New buildings. New world records to beat. All the fuss about controversial players. This year's olympics could beat all those that I've known in my entire life. Still, not even curiosity could stir my mind into peeking into it. Not even hoping the Philippines win an event can make me hyped about it.

Anyway, the one thing I look forward to in the olympics is the syncronized swimming event. It just wows me up and it's very beautiful that I don't really care who wins so long as I've seen each routine. I just need to look up the web and check where I can watch it and I hope they show it in ETC or somewhere.